WTF Moment: Former ATREYU Guitarist Joins…… TRAPT

 

LOLOLOLOLOLOL The title says it fucking all…. Former Atreyu guitarist Travis Miguel has officially come out of retirement and joined Trapt! Now I know Atreyu was never a good band or anything, but joining Trapt is a new low. I guess I don’t really give a shit but I know there has to be some closet Atreyu fan out there wanting to punch himself in the dick (and not just for having shitty taste in music).

All I’m gonna say is that I guess Atreyu broke up because Travis was too HEADSTRONG!!!

 

— Josh Huddleston

Follow me on Twitter – @keepitwolfson

I Hate My Job: Josh’s Mid-Work Week Playlist Vol. 1

How many of you hate your jobs? How many of you can listen to your music while working? Well fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it), I can answer yes to both questions.

The following is a new segment in which I will give you a playlist based on the songs I find myself listening to over and over again while working. Originally I had planned to do this with full albums, but quickly realized I only listen to a handful of album. So in order to be less redundant I’ve decided to limit myself to ten songs a week. Continue reading to find out what songs I am annoying my co-workers with this week.

Continue reading

WTF Moment: FRANKIE PALMERI Actually Makes Worse Music Than EMMURE??

 

 

The title of this article says it all. Although I don’t really know if this should be considered a WTF moment given that nobody expects Emmure vocalist, Frankie Palmeri, to release anything that could be considered quality by self-respecting music fans.

Yesterday the underground community collectively winced when it was announced that Palmeri has released a second album under his alter ego, THANOS REIGNZ. In classic nu metal fashion (see: Jonathan Davis aka J-Devil), Palmeri’s new album is a strongly dub-step influenced. You can listen to this digital steaming pile below, if you so choose to ruin your morning or induce vomiting.

 

Follow me on Twitter – @keepitwolfson

— Josh Huddleston

 

WTF Moment: Ruin Your Morning With The Trailer For IWRESTLEDABEARONCE’s New Movie, “A Beary Scary Movie”

 

God damn it, I had to wake up to an email about this this morning. I’m not going to lie, it made me vomit in my mouth a little bit, so I obviously had to share it with you guys! A few days ago, ironic hipster dancecore favorites, IWRESTLEDABEARONCE, uploaded a trailer for their “long-awaited” theatrical debut. I remember first reading about this several months back but assumed it was a hoax not too dissimilar from their supposed kvlt black metal album. Sadly, I was wrong.

The premise of the movie is something kind of like Candyman, but about a legendary 80’s hair metal guitarist named Shreddy.. I know you are probably thinking how could this get worse and I’ll tell you… The movie stars none other than Clown from presumably IWABO’s favorite nu metal band, Slipknot. Ew. Disgusting, right?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Jake Busey is in it too. I know that what you are thinking, “Who gives a fuck about Jake Busey. Call me when the get a real actor like his father”, only because I am thinking the same thing. Continue after the jump to read the official press release and watch the trailer for “A Beary Scary Movie“…. If you dare… Continue reading

True North Or Pure Shit: DEVIN TOWNSEND PROJECT Releases New Single “True North”

Prog fans start cumming your pants right now because Metal Hammer Germany has uploading the track “True North” off of The Devin Townsend Project‘s new album Epicloud. Epicloud will see a November release. Until then head over to Metal Hammer Germany’s site to the track.

Personally I think it kind of sucks.. C’mon Heavy Devy, what’s up with this “I want You, I Need You” bullshit?? I have a feeling its being streamed in Germany exclusively cause it sucks too much for English-speaking western countries… j/k

Here is the official press release –

After completing his epic quadrology last year with the simultaneous release of Deconstruction and Ghost, renowned multi-instrumentalist and producer Devin Townsend is ready to start the next chapter in the Devin Townsend Project’s career with their new effort, Epicloud. Due out September 18th in North America and September 24th in Europe, Epicloud boasts 13 light-hearted, hook laden tracks featuring once again, guest vocal appearances by Anneke van Giersbergen. It’s Epic and it’s loud, it’s Epicloud.

Follow me on Twitter – @keepitwolfson

— Josh Huddleston

WTF Moment: Wait… There’s A Fucking Online MEGADETH Slot Machine???

 

Holy fuck.. How terrible is this; there is now a new way to lose your money to Dave Mustaine without even having to purchase Megadeth‘s music! If you click here, you are one step closer to testing your luck on the new Megadeth slot machines! Yes, this actually fucking exists for some reason….

I am really tempted to try to get the ultimate jackpot (to do so you must get a Dave Mustiane, a line of coke, a bible, a tear and Barack Obama‘s head in a cross hair) but I’m done contributing to this lunatics bank account.

 

Follow me on Twitter – @keepitwolfson

— Josh Huddleston

Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Yet Another Reason For Me To Hate BORN OF OSIRIS

Bleh. That is the exact response I give whenever the name Born Of Osiris is uttered. Their prog-noodling, keyboard deathcore absolutely disgusts me. Their original tracks bore me to tears and annoy the shit out of me. Well, now I have another reason to despise this band: they have released a new lyric video for their cover of System Of A Down‘s “Science.” I love System Of A Down and this is an abomination. Don’t go there. Just don’t. Fuck me, I’m gonna go jump off of my roof until I forget this exists.

Shittiness Comes From Other Countries Too: Say Hello To The French EMMURE

If you don’t understand the title of this post, watch this video. Then read my thought process of the new video from French deathcoreians Black Knives.

  • 0:00-0:03 Instant breakdown. How can you have a breakdown at the beginnging of a song? What is there to breakdown from?
  • 0:12- Nice coat, bro. I looked it up and the average temperature in May for France is about fifty-seven degrees Fahrenheit; Definitely too hot for that coat.
  • 0:31 A nice bass drop before breaking into generic chugging.
  • 0:37 Flashes to the singer walking through the street screaming and making hand gestures to the camera. Nice one, Fred Durst.
  • 0:48 Entire band (sans drummer) running in place.
  • 1:21 Guitarist screaming every word along with the vocalist: Why not give the guy a mic and a less conspicuous shirt? Everyone else is in black jackets.
  • 1:30 Hello there, French rapper.
  • 1:35- See bullet #4.
  • 1:45 I turned this shit off. I have no idea what happens next.

SCENE.

Shut Up and Give Us More AT THE DRIVE IN: SPARTA Releases First New Song In Six Years

 

Former At The Drive In members known as Sparta have released their first song in six years. The song is titled Chemical Feel and you can listen/download here. I assume the song will be featured on an upcoming release, I don’t know if there is actually one in production, but I would assume so. It would seem like this release is coming at a perfect time considering how Sparta has always been kind of forgotten but are now back in the spotlight with the $$$ grab At The Drive In reunion.

Chemical Feel comes off as sounding like a second-rate Thrice B-side. It’s not bad or anything but it’s very consistent with the level of mediocrity that Sparta is known for producing. I wouldn’t listen to this on my own, but at the same time, if a chick I was dating put it on, I wouldn’t scramble to turn it off. Fuck it, Jim Ward should just do what’s in his best interest financially, and try to keep At The Drive In touring….

 

— Josh Huddleston

Follow me on Twitter – @keepitwolfson

 

WTF Moment: VARG VIKERNES Is Programming A Video Game???

Are you guys ready for the most fucking kvlt video game of all time? In a recent interview Burzum mastermind Varg Vikernes let it be known that he was in the process of programming his very own game. And no, it’s not going to be some pussy ass linear game like those nerdy emo’s in Last Chance To Reason made. This shit is going to a fucking grvm RPG where you stab band mates and burn churches and shit! It’s going to be like Skyrim but with more classism and instead of Dragonborn, you will be Aryan born. Here is what Varg had to say about his upcoming game –

Are you still planning on the release of your own role playing game? What can you tell us about this, if anything at all?

Yes, very much so, but I am not yet sure exactly on how to do this. I expect to be asking for help from gamers to play-test the system and to get feedback, but I will do some proof-reading and add some more meat to the bone, so to speak, before I do so.

Note that I am not trying to revolutionize RPG gaming with this game or anything like that. I just wanted to add in a game some things I have always missed in other games and remove some things I didn’t like, and then create a setting I would want to play in myself.

It’s all done out of love for RPGs, and because I enjoy working with this.

Do you have any fond memories of your role playing game days you would like to share? I myself, with a few, select others, played the first edition AD&D only, and we still sometimes do, in the manner of the old Gary Gygax tradition of early RPG… We have created many characters and had much magic still, with some great opportunities to play out the character and personalities like Mackarel Dale the rouge; the druid Owck the gnarled or against villains we have created like Fitzworg the enslaver…

Oh, it is a very long time since I last played a game, and I think even back then, when I had the opportunity to play, my biggest fascination was the logic (or lack thereof) of the system itself, the technical details and gaming mechanics, the complexity of the gaming world, races, stats and so forth. I am a terrible friend, so I have lost all my RPG-friends, and I lost the last one many years ago, and have gained no new friends to replace them, so I relate to RPGs pretty much just like some autistic person trying to figure out in details how a complicated mechanical device works. Right now I just try to make a logical system and a logical world for it…

My fond RPG memories have mostly been lost, but I still remember how fun it was to even just have the PC party walk up to some ruined tower or a cave entrance, and then try to unveil the secrets therein.

Ah, you know; Det som engang var (“what once was”)…

oh man, poor Varg has no one to game with… I guess he got pissed at all the young posers on Xbox live who called him “nigger fag” last time he was trying to defend the white race on Call Of Duty… :(

Seriously though, how many of you would check out this losers game? I mean people have actually paid for his shit music in the past so someone’s gotta be looking forward to this, right? Thoughts?

— Josh Huddleston

Follow me on Twitter – @keepitwolfson