If you have attended a big four concert, can say “Loutallica” with no sense of irony, or even consider yourself just a “bro, they sold out after Ride the Lightning” kinda guy, don’t bother reading this. Metallica can bring out the worst in people/the internet, I’m over it, Lars could leak a lamer sex tape than Gene Simmons and still make more money than Bono (that’s what you all want, isn’t it?)
I’m not doing this because it’s “so hipster” to hate on Metallica. I have and will always write about music openly and honestly, and I just openly and honestly do not like their music. It’s that simple. Metallica has ruined everything I love forever.
Imagine how frustrated you would be if everyone thought Celine Dion’s version of “You Shook Me All Night Wrong” was an original, remaining in a permanent state of blissful AC/DC-free unawareness. That sickening feeling in your gut? You’re gonna want to hold on to that.